You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
