I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
