I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
