I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
