Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
