shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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