then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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