i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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