please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
try to milk me bitch
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