I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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