Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
