Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
