Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
