I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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