All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
