Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
