we're blogging at a bar
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
