So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
