OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
