I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I deserve this hangover.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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