we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
