This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
