your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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