you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
