So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
