can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
