And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
