Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
