tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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