I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
