her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
