well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i would one night stand the shit outta him
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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