You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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