You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
im holly from the hills drunk
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
