Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
