I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize