did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
no you cant smoke seaweed
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
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