can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
