If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
