Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
