Don't you send me to vm
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
