if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
he was CRYING into my vagina
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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