Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
