My first STD was from a foam party
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Randomize
