I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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