We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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