he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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