Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
