"it" just moved
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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