the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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