Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
