Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
