i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
This baby is an asshole
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
