Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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