So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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