So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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